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David Roy's blog - July 2007
The main goal of this blog is to help men to be successful at meeting and dating women on dating websites. Get online dating website reviews and insider tips and secrets to meet the right women for you on the Internet.
Posted by David Roy on: July 29, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Eight don'ts for men who use dating websites
When you start communicating with a woman online, both of you are in the process of getting to know each other. Certain things turn women off. During that preliminary time, as you begin to exchange a few emails, there are things you may want to avoid doing to make sure she likes you and wants to keep the conversation going.
Here are eight things you should avoid doing when communicating with women on dating websites.
1. Don't talk about sex. Do not try to get her attention by talking about sex. You will be wasting your time. This will turn her off, and she might think that the only thing you want is to get in her pants.
Instead, work at getting her to like you by talking about something she likes or something you have in common. Create an affinity between the two of you by discussing nonsexual things. The conversation about sex can come later, after you have established a strong connection.
2. Don't be negative. Women—in fact, people in general—do not like negativity. There is no reason to be negative. When you begin to interact with a woman, she does not know you, so don't show your frustration or hatred for things or she will think this is all you focus on. That will give her a bad first impression, and she won't feel like replying to you.
Turn your negative opinion into a positive one. For example, instead of saying, "I hate country and western music," tell her about what kind of music you do like and why.
3. Don't ask personal questions. Don't ask her last name, where she works, her address, or her phone number too soon. She might get suspicious. Remember that you have just met online; she has never seen you before and does not know you. You must first create a sense of trust between you.
Once she knows you and you gain each other's trust, she will be willing to open up to you, and she might even end up giving you her phone number without your asking faster then you think.
4. Don't lie. Please, do not lie. There is no good reason to lie. Try to create a trustworthy relationship. Getting her to like you by lying won't take you anywhere. At some point she will find out and will be turned off by it. Remember that no one wants to deal with a liar.
5. Don't brag. Don't talk about how funny, intelligent, rich, or sexy you are. Anyone can write that in an email message while hiding behind a computer screen. Show her, don't tell her. Good grammar and clever language will show her your intelligence, a quality photo can show her how sexy you are, and a good sense of humor in your profile essay and your emails will show her that you are funny.
6. Don't use abbreviations. Don't write your email using chat room abbreviations. Use complete sentences instead. Abbreviations show your laziness and make it look as though you do not take her seriously. It is as if you are sending a quick email without much interest.
7. Don't make grammar mistakes. Many women are turned off by bad grammar. Use a spell-check before sending each message. That's one way to show her not only that you are educated but also how serious you are.
8. Don't be general. Don't be general when sending her messages. Avoid writing things like "I like to walk on the beach" or "I like to watch movies." Instead, tell her about the kind of movies you like and why you like them. That will help get the conversation going.
The "rules" for trying to get a woman's attention when you start communicating with her include finding something she likes to talk about, something you have in common, or any subjects you both can enjoy discussing.
The don'ts above are a few things you should avoid doing while you are dating online. These tips will help you in accomplishing your goal of meeting women on the Internet.
Posted by David Roy on: July 26, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Eight dos for men using dating websites
Women on dating websites always seem to be swamped with tons of emails from men who want to get to know them or date them. For that reason, the competition is fierce among men online. To get responses from women, you must find a way of standing out from the crowd.
Women get plenty of messages like this one: "I like your profile and would like to know more about you. Look at my profile and let me know what you think. Cheers! Bob." That's just plain boring and not particularly attractive. It doesn't give her any real reason to reply.
Here are eight things you can do that will help you get more responses from women on Internet dating websites.
1. Do run a spell-check. Many women are turned off by bad spelling. A spell-check takes only a minute or two, so use it before you send all your messages.
2. Do present honest information. Be honest at all times when dating online. Nobody likes to deal with a liar. You might attract her with lies at first, but in the end you will be the loser when she finds out the truth. You will end up in a situation where you will have to justify why you lied. This will put you in a bad situation and will repulse her.
3. Do read her profile first. Do not email her before you read her profile. Looking only at her picture is not good enough. Make sure that she really interests you—not just physically. Read her profile and send her a short email inspired by what you have read in her profile.
4. Do write something specific. Do not write something generic, such as "I like romantic dinners." Everyone likes that, and it does not say anything about you. Be more specific. Say something like "I love pasta, and Italian is my favorite. Mmmm...spaghetti and meatballs…mmmm...."
5. Do include a good, recent picture of yourself. Put a nice recent photo of yourself on your profile. Most women do not even look at profiles without a photo. Many select the "profiles with photo only" option when setting their search criteria. By having your photo on your profile, you increase your exposure tenfold. Make sure it is a recent, clear photo of you alone.
6. Do respect her wishes if she is not interested. If a woman has the courtesy to reply to you saying that she is not interested, please respect her wishes and do not harass her. She does not have to tell you why. She has told you she is not interested, and on top of that she probably has received dozens of messages from other men interested in knowing more about her. Maybe you can thank her for her reply and then move on.
7. Do choose a clever nickname. Don't choose a violent or sexual nickname. Forget about any nickname that uses "69" or shows any kind of negativity. Women won't be attracted by this. Choose something benign, something attractive that describes a bit about you.
8. Do create an attractive profile and subject headers. Spend some time figuring out who you are and what kind of women interest you, and use that information to complete your profile. Be unique, sincere, honest, and creative, and show your sense of humor if you can.
Many men scare women away just by their attitude, by revealing too much in their emails, by constantly emailing them even if they are not interested, or by trying to attract them with sex. If you are one of these men, you are wasting your time. Instead, use the dos above—they will certainly increase your rate of success.
Posted by David Roy on: July 23, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Online dating: Six tips for picking an attractive nickname
A nickname is an alias you use on dating websites to identify yourself to other members. All other members in the chat room and exchanging email with you will know you by that nickname, at least at first. Your nickname represents you throughout the website.
For this reason, you should spend some time choosing a good one. Here are six tips for men who want to choose a nickname that is attractive in women's eyes.
1. Do not choose something about sex. You will not attract women by picking a nickname about sex. You will basically just be wasting your time. Things like "Bob_69U" are a no-no.
2. Do not choose something violent. Do not choose anything that hints at any kind of hatred or violence. There is no room on dating websites for that sort of thing anyway, and women are not looking for people who talk about violence or hatred.
3. Do not choose something negative. Negativity is not attractive to women, or to anyone for that matter. Women just don't respond well to negativity—and if she's a woman who does, then you might not want to be in a relationship with her anyway.
4. Do choose something that describes you. Take some time to think about who you are. Ask your friends what they like about you. Look at yourself through someone else's eyes. Use that information to pick a nickname.
For example, if you are an airplane pilot, you could choose "AutoPilot." If you like to run marathons, you could choose "ActiveRunner."
5. Do choose something that you are looking for. If you are looking to raise a family, you could choose something like "FamilyGuy." Think about what you want in life and what kind of women you like. What qualities and values are you looking for? Write them down on a piece of paper, then use them to inspire your nickname.
6. Do be creative. Spend some time finding a nickname that is unique. If your nickname is already taken and you need to put a number at the end to be able to use it, then it is probably not original enough.
"BlueEyes," "BrownHair," or "TallMan" are all descriptive but not unique—they will not help you to stand out. If you want to highlight your height, for example, you could choose "ColossalAtHeart." If environmental issues are important to you, you could pick "BlueEarth."
What's important about choosing your nickname is to find a benign term that has something to do with you. Spend some time brainstorming. Write on a piece of paper all ideas that come to mind, whether they are good, bad, stupid, funny, or dull, until you find one that really makes you think, "OK—that's the one."
Having a good nickname on a dating website might not sound like the most important thing, but it does represent you right from the start. If you are serious about finding a good woman for a long-term relationship or even for a casual date, you should spend the time required to make it happen. You have to choose a nickname anyway, so you might as well do it right.
I remember having a woman tell me that the reason she emailed a man was because of his nickname. That's how they started their online relationship, by becoming friends after a conversation about the name he chose.
Sometime small details can make a world of difference.
Posted by David Roy on: July 20, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Five reasons why you should use a dating website
Dating websites are now integrated into our culture. Millions of people use them every day. This is one of the fastest-growing industries on the Internet.
With all those singles online right now, the chances of your finding a good woman who meets your criteria are high.
Here are five reasons why men should use dating websites.
1. Convenience: Online dating is really convenient. You can use it 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You don't have to dress up. You can even be in your underwear while interacting with very interesting women—without offending anyone.
2. Lots of single women: There are millions of single women looking for single men online right now. Thousands of new women join every day.
The chances of your meeting a woman you like increase with the number of women available to you. And there are all types of women online: successful, poor, round, skinny, outgoing, extroverted, introverted, unworldly, educated, and more. Since your exposure is not limited to women with whom you have direct contact in real life, you have the chance to meet women you never could have met otherwise.
3. Easy contact: Once you've found the profile of a woman you like, it is very easy for you to contact her. You are only a few clicks away! If you are in a chat room, the contact is instant. You can easily end up interacting with five different women in an evening when using dating websites.
4. Interested women: Women using online dating sites are actively looking for a good man. And they are not all just there waiting for a good man to contact them. Women do also contact men first on dating websites. If you have a good profile with a nice picture that makes you look your best, you will certainly end up with some women contacting you first.
5. Inexpensive dates: With online dating, you get much more for your money than with any other way of meeting women. The approximate cost of a membership is between US$20 and US$60 per month. That's basically less than the cost of one night out.
If you go out to a club, for example, you will probably end up spending the equivalent of a month's membership cost or more, and you are not even assured of getting in contact with interesting women.
With online dating, in one evening you can easily be in contact with five different, interesting women—and you're more likely to communicate with them again in the future.
Online dating is now part of our society and culture. This is a way to meet singles, just like any other way that exists, and it has some very solid advantages.
If you use the available tools of online dating properly—by creating a good, honest, sincere, and attractive profile and including a good picture of yourself—there is no reason not to expect success on those dating websites.
There are lots of single women out there who are looking for a good man. Just go ahead, join a good dating website, and enjoy. |
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