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David Roy's blog - August 2007
The main goal of this blog is to help men to be successful at meeting and dating women on dating websites. Get online dating website reviews and insider tips and secrets to meet the right women for you on the Internet.
Posted by David Roy on: August 31, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Is online dating for you?
Online dating has been around for over a decade now. This is one of the fastest-growing industries on the Internet. Right now there are over 50 million singles looking to find their mates online, and the numbers keep growing by the thousands every day.
Many dating websites have begun to advertise on television, so pretty much everyone (even those without a computer) has the chance to hear about online dating. If you are single, you have probably asked yourself if online dating is for you, and whether or not you should try it.
Jump right in! I believe that online dating is suitable for anyone, unless of course you do not like computers or the Internet.
Online dating is another way to meet people, just like going to a bar, placing newspaper ads, or using a matchmaking service. It is simply a choice you make, and as with any other way of meeting singles, there are advantages and disadvantages. Of course, there are always some people ready to criticize and put down anything new in our society.
People who do not like online dating will criticize the impersonal aspect of it. They say that you do not have real contact with people, that people online are just in front of their computers, typing on their keyboards in their rooms or basements, interacting with other people in a virtual world but in reality, alone. To them, the physical contact of meeting new individuals in the traditional way is missing. Since the physical contact is necessary to find out if there is chemistry or not, and to finally get to know someone truly, they will argue that online dating is not good or makes no sense.
So yes, online dating has its disadvantages, like any other way to meet singles. But to me it is clear that the advantages surpass the disadvantages.
When dating online, you have access to thousand of people at once. You know that those people have posted their ads to find a date or a soul mate. There is no confusion: Everyone you find on a dating site is single and wants to find someone.
Another advantage is that you get a lot of information about the other person before you meet. Most dating websites have designed a list of several questions that subscribers answer when posting their profiles.
By reading these profiles, you can find out if people have kids, if they want more kids, if they smoke or drink, if they are the outgoing type. You can find out their income, the type of work they do, and how they look—hair color and length, height, body type—plus anything else you can imagine writing on a personal profile. These profiles help a lot in weeding out people who do not interest you, and all this before you even meet for the first time.
In real time, it could take you several weeks, months or even years to get all this information from your new partner, while online you can get it all at once, in a matter of minutes.
There are other advantages of online dating, such as being able to find your match in your pajamas in the comfort of your home, seven days a week, 24 hours a day.
So when you really look at it, there are no reasons to think there is anything wrong with online dating. Any single person with a computer can use online dating to find and meet someone, and who knows: He or she maybe the love of your life.
Posted by David Roy on: August 28, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Is online dating worth the price tag?
The price of an Internet dating website membership varies. Some memberships are totally free, but the quality of the members and of the website features usually suffer.
Decent dating websites do have a membership price, often in between US$20 and US$60 per month.
Is it really worth paying that much for this service? Should you go ahead and spend your money on it?
The answer is yes: You can get much more for your dollar with online dating than you can with any other way of meeting singles.
There is no other way to meet singles that lets you have access to so many profiles and so much information. Internet dating websites maintain thousands of profiles of people in your area. Each profile description is filled with questions that reveal interests, tastes, values, status, and other information about the member. You can browse those profiles and contact any that you like.
Thousands of people subscribe and complete new profile ads every day. Viewing these profiles, you can discover what these people are looking for and what their interests are, and you can decide if you want to contact any of them.
Contacting someone on a dating site is very easy—that's what the websites are designed for. With online chatting and messaging, you can easily end up being in contact with dozens of people within one evening.
Not only can you contact them, but you can also be solicited by them and end up meeting someone without even having to take the first step toward contact. All this happens without any interruption in the service.
Online dating websites operate 24 hours a day, seven days a week. During that time, new subscribers are constantly joining the website, which means new prospects for you. If you feel like it, you can go ahead and email a new prospect at 4 a.m. This aspect is perfect for a busy professional with a tight schedule. There are no rules for when you can and cannot find a date on the Internet.
Now let's compare this to the bar scene. It can be quite expensive to go to a bar to meet singles, and the quality of those singles might not be the best either. Just one night out is equivalent to (or more expensive than) the cost of a one-month membership online. On top of that, the chances that you will meet someone interested in a long-term relationship are not as good as the chances if you were online.
Now, what about newspaper and magazine ads? You can pay upwards of US$15 to advertise your personal ad in a newspaper or magazine, but this won't give you any control over whom you can contact. The number of people exposed to your print ad is also much lower than on the Internet.
Dating websites also work at finding matches for you. They all have some kind of matching system that searches prospects in whom you could be interested. The system then sends the matches to you via email or puts them in a section of the website for you to access as you please.
No other service will give you more for your buck than online dating. It is not only cheaper but also more convenient. You can use it any day of the week, at any moment. The number of people you can be in contact with on the Internet is tremendous, and the website features help you narrow them down to your matches.
Is online dating worth the price tag? Yes, it certainly is.
Posted by David Roy on: August 25, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Online dating: Search-based systems versus scientific matching systems
Online dating has been around for over 10 years now and is one of the fastest-growing industries (if not the fastest-growing) on the Internet.
Today the majority of dating sites are "search based." Subscribers join dating websites by filling in a profile. This profile contains many questions designed to describe your interests, your values, who you are, and what kind of partner you are looking for. Some questions involve filling in the blanks but the majority of them are multiple choice.
The reason why these profiles use multiple choice has to do with database design. Having multiple choices makes it much easier for the programmer and developer to store information in the database, creating an accurate, fast, and efficient search for subscribers.
Let's use a simple example to help explain this: hair color. When filling out their profiles, subscribers are prompted to select their hair color. Let's say there are four choices: a) brown, b) blond, c) black, and d) red. Since the choices are predefined, the programmer can store the information for all members uniformly in the database, where it can be easily recognized and retrieved for the search-based system.
So if you prefer someone with brown hair, you make that selection on the website. When performing a search, the system can easily find who in the database has brown hair and retrieve all members with that criterion.
That's basically how a search-based dating website works. Members fill out a profile, so you can then perform a search based on the answers they have selected.
This system works very well, and it is still widely used today. However, during the last few years, the industry has been gradually moving toward "scientific matching." These services sometimes call themselves "relationship websites" instead of "dating websites." Their approach aims to find someone who really matches your specific personality and to ultimately help you find true love in a long-term relationship that can lead to marriage. Some websites offer both search-based and scientific matching—Perfectmatch.com is one example—while others, such as eHarmony.com, are limited to scientific matching only .
Websites with scientific matching will have you complete a personality test created by professionals. All answers are analyzed, and the outcome is a thorough description of your personal traits. For example, this test can reveal whether you are extroverted, introverted, predictable, flexible, emotional, etc.
The online service then uses these personal traits to match you with a partner who has a compatible personality. This system makes the search-based system, which strictly matches your profile's basic answers with your search criteria, look more mechanical.
The question is: Does the new scientific way to match people on the Internet really work?
The fact is that while many people have walked down the aisle after using this new system, the success is not uniform. Not everyone has found a soul mate using this system. This approach is still in its infancy, and only time will tell if this system really works.
Posted by David Roy on: August 22, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Five tips that men should know for writing an outstanding online dating profile
When dating online, you must go through the process of writing a profile. Most questions are multiple choice, but there is always a section where you can pretty much write anything you want about yourself and about who you would like to date.
This section is very popular, and serious women who really want to find someone special in their lives do spend time reading it before contacting a prospect.
When dating online, it is very important to write a good essay about yourself and about who you are looking for. Those men who spend the time to come up with an essay that stands out from the crowd do get better results, more responses to their ads, and also more interesting women contacting them.
The key to getting women to make the first step toward contacting you online is to have an outstanding profile ad.
Here are five tips any man should follow to ensure the success of his online dating profile.
Have a good recent photo of yourself. Lots of women online do not even look at profiles or respond to ads that do not have photos. One reason for this is that women more than men are often solicited first by their admirers. That gives them the choice to respond to a lot of people. Why respond to a profile without a photo—an unknown—if you have three other messages in your in-box with photos?
Make sure the photo shows only you and is of good quality. Use a photo in which you can be seen clearly, one that makes you look your best. Most important, make sure it is recent and not a 10-year-old photo.
Find out who you are. Think about it. What kind of person are you? How do people perceive you? How do your friends describe you? Look at yourself through somebody else's eyes. Ask your friends why they enjoy being your friends and how they perceive you. You might be surprised at their answers. You can use all this information when describing yourself in your profile essay.
Find out what you want. Do you want to get married and raise a family, or are you looking for a casual date at the moment? What kind of women do you like: extroverted or introverted? independent? professional? family-oriented or party-oriented? Take some time to figure this out before writing your profile. That will increase the quality of the women who reply to your ad, since only those who see themselves in your description will contact you. In return, you will be happier knowing that the prospect who is contacting you corresponds to what you want.
Be honest. This is one reason why you should be sure to put a recent picture on your profile. It is all about honesty. Don't lie about your age, body type, status, or anything else. You don't want to end up in a situation later where you have to clarify and justify one or several lies you put in your profile ad. That may just turn off your date and get you back to square one.
Be specific. Don't be general when writing your profile. For example, don't write: "I like to watch movies." That does not say anything about you, and pretty much everyone likes to watch movies anyway. Instead, be more specific and creative.
You could, for example, write: "I am a fan of westerns, so I have seen almost all the old classic western movies featuring Clint Eastwood and John Wayne." You see the difference? The first statement can apply to anyone, while the second reveals something about you (and is also more interesting to read).
You could also write: "Being a typical geek, a nerdy type of man, I sometimes slither up from the darkness of my basement to go watch science-fiction movies." Since humor and creativity are often a huge turn-on for women, it is always good to laugh at yourself and be original when writing your profile essay.
Follow these five important tips when writing a profile and you will surely increase your chances of success when dating online.
Posted by David Roy on: August 19, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Online dating: Make women respond
The biggest problem when trying to catch a woman's attention via email is that she probably gets lots of messages from different men every day. While there are only 40% women on dating websites, there are about 60% men. On top of that, men are much more aggressive and willing to contact the ladies first, so it is no wonder there is so much competition for their attention.
If you want to increase your chances of successfully getting replies from women on the Internet, you must stand out from the crowd. Here are a few tips you can follow to ensure a response.
Use proper grammar. While some women may not mind at all, bad grammar is a turn-off for lots of women on the Internet. You should make sure to use proper grammar and full sentences when communicating online.
Avoid using chat room abbreviations like "How r u?" Use the full sentence and correct grammar instead: "How are you?" You may also want to avoid emoticons. Not all women are used to emoticons or chat room abbreviations. It just might leave a bad first impression. Let's keep luck on your side. Wait until you get to know her better before getting too casual.
One trick is to use Microsoft Word's spell-check to correct your messages. Just copy and paste your message into a Word document, run the spell-check on it, then copy and paste it back into your web browser field. I definitely recommend doing this before sending your messages to ensure better grammar.
Keep it short. Keep your first few messages short, about 10 to 20 sentences. If a message is too long, she might not read the whole thing. You do not want to spend an hour writing a message to a woman without knowing if she will be interested in contacting you or not. You will end up wasting hours of work, getting frustrated, and maybe even giving up on it.
If a message is too short, however, she might just skip it and go to the next one. You must find a good balance and make sure to include something that will catch her attention.
Show that you have read her profile. This might catch her attention. Find something that you like, that you have in common, or that you are curious about, and briefly talk about it in your first email.
For example, I once saw a profile of a woman who enjoyed kickboxing. Since it is a bit unusual for women to take part in a combat sport, I was curious and sent her a very short email. I briefly introduced myself in two or three sentences, and at the end of the email, I wrote: "Are you really doing kickboxing?"
I got a reply from her the same day. That's how we began communicating. I then tried that "Are you really doing" type of sentence in my other emails, and it was surprisingly effective.
The bottom line is to make sure to include something about her profile that really did catch your attention. Do not just copy and paste the same message again and again. That method is not the most effective. Go for quality instead of quantity.
Avoid talking about sex. When you first begin to exchange emails with a woman, avoid talking about sex too soon. That's surely not the best card to play. You will simply be wasting your time. Make sure to get to know her and let her get to know you before you become too intimate.
Don't give up. Remember that women may be swamped with tons of messages from admirers who want to know more about them and are willing to date them—even more so if they have cute photos on their profiles. At any given moment, you can be sure that a woman's mailbox is filled with messages. So if she does not reply to you, don't blame it all on yourself or on your writing skills. Keep at it, and I guarantee you that the effort will ultimately pay off.
Be honest. Being honest is one of the most important factors when communicating with women online. You do not at any time want to have to justify a lie or false information that you have given her. Be honest, and make sure she likes the real you. In the end you will feel much better about yourself, and you will also avoid some uncomfortable situations that might just turn her off. After all, no one likes to deal with a liar.
Be creative and specific: Avoid writing things like: "My name is Bob. I am 30 years old. I like to watch movies, eat out, and walk on the beach." That's sound so boring! It does not say anything about you, and she has probably received tons of emails that sound just like this.
Try to stand out from the crowd by writing about something you found in her profile that she has in common with you or that you are curious about, and write something she can agree with. Be creative and specific, and if you can, add some humor.
In the end, I think the one thing you need to remember is that women are often overwhelmed with dozen of messages from different admirers who want to go on dates with them. When writing your messages, if you put in the effort to stand above the rest, your chances of success will increase greatly. Most men write boring and very general messages when first emailing women. They did not do what you are doing right now: learn how to write proper messages that will catch her attention and make her respond. Just using these tips will certainly help.
Posted by David Roy on: August 16, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Five tips for successful communication with women on dating websites
One thing you must understand is that it is good to be a woman when dating online. Women get dozens of messages almost every day from admirers who want to date them—especially if they have a photo on their profile and they are cute.
If she begins to communicate with you, that's because you have somehow sparked her interest. Once you have her attention, you'll want to get the conversation going, since you know that she has messages from many others admirers waiting in her in-box.
Here are five tips on how to successfully communicate with women on the Internet.
Find out what sparks her interest. Like I said, if she replied to your message it is because you have somehow got her interested in you. So the first thing you can do is to try to find out what triggered her interest.
It might be something that you wrote to her, or maybe something she saw in your profile. Read the reply she has sent you over again, and try to read in between the lines. That will give you some clues as to why she replied to you. Once you find out what it is, use it to your advantage.
Write about something she can agree with. Keep writing about things she can agree with. You can find out from her profile what she likes and does not like. For example, if you are a fan of science-fiction movies or horror movies, do not talk to her about your passion unless you know for sure that she also likes that type of movie.
The bottom line is, before engaging in any topic of conversation, try to know what her position is about it, and direct the conversation accordingly.
Avoid talking about sex. When you're getting to know a woman on the Internet, avoid talking about sex too early in the relationship unless she begins to talk about it first. If you just go ahead and try to approach her with the topic of sex, she will probably just stop replying to you right then and there. Make sure you have a good rapport with her first, or wait for her to bring up the subject.
Don't insist on getting pictures. I have personally never had a hard time getting photos from a woman on the Internet, and lots of them already have one on their profiles. However, if she does not agree to send you additional photos or if she is not comfortable sharing one at all, do not insist. That will just turn her off, and it might reinforce her feelings about not wanting to send any pictures to you in the first place.
You should definitely ask her politely for a photo if she does not have one on her profile. If she refuses, just respect her decision; you might be surprised about how fast she will change her mind.
Be honest. It is really important to be honest when communicating with women online as well as offline. No one likes to deal with a liar.
Since the contact on the Internet is virtual and not direct, that makes the interaction a bit impersonal. Hidden behind a computer, anyone can pretend to be someone he or she is not. Women are already suspicious about that. If you lie, you may have to explain your lies at a later time. This can result in an uncomfortable situation that may turn her off.
You want to keep chance on your side. Let her get to know the real you. You will feel better about yourself if you don't have to cover up for or justify your lies.
The one thing to remember is that women on dating websites, as opposed to men, get lots of messages from admirers. Many men are successful with this and regularly get dates. The tips above can help you be more effective on the Internet. Use them, and happy dating.
Posted by David Roy on: August 13, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Online dating: How to make a woman like you within the first five minutes of your first date
When dating online, the goal is to make contact with a woman, to meet her, and ultimately to begin a relationship. During that process, the first meeting is very important.
At this first meeting, both of you will decide if there is chemistry between you and if there is a possibility of starting up a relationship. The first five minutes are the most important moments of your meeting. This is your first and only chance to make a good first impression on her. Mess up those first five minutes and the odds are that you will not hear from her again.
On the other hand, if you take no risks, play your strong suit, and decide to make a very good first impression, especially during those first five minutes, then the chances of success with that woman will increase.
Read the following first-date tips to ensure you'll make a good first impression on the woman of your dreams.
Be on time. Don't be late to your first meeting. That's a turn-off for any woman. She may think that you are not interested in the meeting or in her. You also don't want to begin that first meeting by justifying why you are late.
You should plan on getting there at least a few minutes earlier. Try to give yourself a 15-minute window in case something happens on the way to the meeting, such as an accident that slows down traffic.
Look good. Shower, brush your teeth, and shave just before leaving if you can. Wear clothes that make you look and feel good. Not only will you look more attractive to her, but you will feel more attractive and confident yourself.
You don't want to be thinking about whether you have bad breath while talking to her. You want to keep all your energy working on maintaining good interaction and increasing the affinity with this woman instead of worrying about your hygiene or about how you look.
Be confident. If you think you are Superman during that first meeting, then you are Superman. If you lack confidence or don't feel good about yourself, then that will show during the meeting. Your chances of success depend on your attitude. Just be yourself, feel good about yourself, and be confident. Allow her to meet the real you at your best.
The bottom line is, if you go to that meeting with the idea that you cannot win her, then chances are you will not. This will show right from the beginning of the meeting, and you will see your chance of having a nice relationship already flying out the window. If you firmly believe that you can impress her, then that will also show during the meeting. You will be able to increase the affinity between the two of you. She will like you for your attitude and will want to meet you again.
Don't forget to smile. The majority of women find that that a man who smiles a lot is a bigger turn-on than one who is just physically attractive. And smiling is an easy trait to master. Practice in front of the mirror if you have to. That little detail could make all the difference.
Greet her in a friendly manner. When you see her for the first time, smile right away, and give her a nice hug and a kiss on the cheek. The first thing she will see and remember is that smile and that nice hug you gave her. You will make a good impression in the first few seconds and will also put her at ease.
Communicate. Communication does not mean just talking or just listening for the entire meeting. Both of you must have a chance to express yourselves. The goal is to create an exchange between you and her, so you both can learn about each other.
The first five minutes of your first meeting are the most important. The future of your relationship depends on them. You should definitely do everything you can to get chance on your side by giving a good first impression.
That said, making a good first impression may not ensure a long-term and lovely relationship. Obviously there are other factors that come into play, and after all, you may not even wish to pursue her. One thing is sure: If you succeed in the first five minutes and she likes you, you will have laid the foundation for a friendly or possibly a loving relationship.
Posted by David Roy on: August 10, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
How to meet women on Internet dating websites
It is pretty easy to meet women on dating websites, but for some reason men often say they have a hard time. They complain about the lack of women contacting them. Even as part of the online dating community, they feel as though they are alone on the website.
If you are on a good online dating website, there is no reason for you not to be in contact with one or more women. Here are a few suggestions to help you succeed in meeting women you may wish to date.
Make sure your Internet dating website is a good one. There are many dating websites out there. They are not all good. Some do not have many members. Others may have lots of members but not in your area.
Make sure the website you are using is a good choice for you. Most sites allow you to do some free location searches before you join or pay for a membership. Use this opportunity to find out if enough of that particular website's members live in your area.
If you find lots of local profiles, look at their last log-on dates. Dating websites usually show a member's last activity date on his or her ad. This will give you an idea of whether that particular website hosts enough active members in your area.
Have a good profile. Take some time to write a good profile. Be creative, honest, and specific. Do not write the same boring stuff, like "I like to watch movies," as everybody else does. Be more specific. You could say: "I love detective films. I like to try guessing who committed the crime. My favorite detective movie is The General's Daughter."
Spend some time figuring out who you are, what you like, and what kind of person you are looking for, and then use that information to complete your profile.
Post a good, recent photo of yourself, Add a recent, high-quality photo of yourself to your profile. Some women do not even look at profiles without pictures. In fact, dating websites give you the option to exclude profiles without photos from your search results, so without a photo, you won't show up on many women's search results.
Choose an attractive nickname. Having a good nickname can definitely help. This is one of the first thing women see when looking at your profile. Try to be creative and to choose something positive that has something to do with you. "MotorCycleMan" and "BlueEyes" are good examples. One woman told me that her reason for contacting a particular man was mainly because of his nickname—so that could be a make-or-break point for you.
Log on often. Log on to the website often. Search results are often listed by the last log-on date and time. This means that the more often you log on, the more often you will show at the top of women's search results, which in turn gives you more exposure and more chances of being contacted by one of them.
Be active. Browse and view women's profiles on a regular basis. Some Internet dating websites allow you to see who has looked at your profile, so she will know of your interest in her. You may capture a woman's attention this way and end up with an unexpected message in your in-box from a woman interested in knowing more about you.
If there is a chat room on the dating website you've chosen, make it a point to spend some time there every week so women can see that you exist and are actively looking for a date.
Contact other members. Make a point of contacting a few women every week. Do not send generic messages. Read their profiles and send them something short and honest that will grab their attention.
By choosing a good dating website, having a good profile, and increasing your online activity level, you should shortly see results. You will feel as though you are part of that dating community. You will slowly begin to make new friends, then you will go on dates, and eventually you will meet someone who is interested in a long-term relationship with you.
Posted by David Roy on: August 7, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Capture the attention of women with these four tips on writing an outstanding profile header
The competition between men online is intense. In fact, most dating websites count as their members more men (approximately 60%) than women (approximately 40%). Consequently, as a man dating on the Internet, you must be more creative and must really work at finding a way to grab a woman's attention.
One way to do this is to write an attractive header. A header is the one-sentence phrase that usually shows up first in your online profile ad, often above your photo. You'll have a greater success rate if you improve that header by making it more attractive, both honestly and creatively. Here are a few tips on how you can achieve that.
1. Be positive. Avoid writing a negative header. Being negative is a turn-off for people in general, and for women in particular. For example, instead of writing: "Cheaters, stay away," go for something more positive and attractive, like "Being faithful is the most important thing."
The goal here is to get women intrigued enough to go ahead and click on your profile and contact you. Being negative won't attract them even if, for instance, they too want cheaters to stay away. Negativity does not attract women. So make sure you put only positive phrases in your header and in your profile description.
2. Be creative. Do not include general information that does not say anything about yourself or that is used by many other men. You can go ahead and browse other profiles to find out what phrases are overused. So many are alike and are used often, such as "Are you the one for me?" or "Am I the one for you?" or "Looking for love."
Be creative. You want to catch a woman's attention by writing something creative, unique, and not boring. Show off your sense of humor if you can. Compare the examples above with headers like "Salt of the hearth" or "I am willing to share the remote." These have a much greater chance of grabbing a woman's attention than generic, overused subject headers.
3. Share something about yourself. You should include in your profile header something about yourself, something that really describes you and reveals a bit about you.
For example, if you run marathons, you might consider writing this: "Active runner looking for someone who can go the distance."
Or if you are a man who loves cars and anything mechanical, your header could be: "Women, start your engines."
That way you can grab the attention of women online, and you may also meet someone with the same interests.
4. Be clear about what you are looking for. One good use of a header is to present a criterion that you consider a deal breaker. For example, if you absolutely don't want to meet a woman who smokes, your header could be: "Please, this is a nonsmoking profile area." It would be very clear that smokers needn't bother to apply.
This is a way for you to weed out unwanted people or poor matches. This small step will improve the quality of the women who contact you, and will help you avoid wasting both your time and hers.
What's important is making your header honest and unique. The main goal is to grab the attention of the right women and to get them to read the rest of your profile. Take some time to write a good header—put some thought into it. Browsing other people's profiles will give you some ideas about what to write and what not to write, and may also give you some inspiration.
Posted by David Roy on: August 4, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Four tips for keeping the online conversation going with women
When you make contact with an interesting woman online, you want to keep the communication going. Some people have a hard time knowing what to say and how to make sure that the exchanges remain interesting.
The main goal is to find a common interest or something that you both can agree upon. This could be any kind of interest—cars, exercise, family, school—the list could go on forever. From there you just need to keep communicating with her, with the intention of keeping the affinity high between the two of you.
Here are four tips that will help you accomplish that.
1. Read her profile. Get a feel for who she is, what she likes, what she does not like. Try to find something you have in common with her or something about her that interests you and makes you curious.
Women like to talk about whatever is their passion. If you can pinpoint what she really likes and just question her about it, she will be more than happy to keep exchanging emails with you and telling you what she thinks.
If you have the same interests, that's even better. Then you can tell her your own thoughts. At that moment, you've got two people exchanging ideas about something they both like, which certainly will keep the conversation going and also will increase the affinity between the two of you.
2. Express opinions that both of you can agree with. When you begin to exchange messages with a woman, it is not a good idea to express opinions that you know she might not agree with. Since she does not know you yet, she might like you a little less for it and may not feel as strong a connection with you. For this reason, she might not reply to your messages.
For example, if you are a smoker, you might want to wait a bit before you talk to her about it. Some women are turned off by smokers. If you tell her before you have found some interests or similarities between the two of you, she might not want to pursue things further. However, if you communicate with her and she begins to like you, then she might not mind and may keep talking to you even when she finds out you are a smoker.
Take another example: If you find out from her profile that she is a vegetarian, you might want to wait a bit before you tell her how much you like your meat cooked rare.
This does not mean that your opinions cannot differ from hers, but as you begin getting to know her, you want to keep the attraction between you as positive as possible. One way to do this is to keep talking about opinions that she can agree with.
3. Be positive. Negativity turns women off, more so if you have just begun interacting with her. When you first start communicating, you want to be positive. For example, don't start to tell her how much you hate cheaters, smokers, or people who are not punctual. Even if she agrees, she might not like the negative attitude you take when expressing your opinion.
There are always ways to turn your negativity into an equivalent opinion that is positive. For example, instead of expressing how much you hate and are frustrated by cheaters, or how angry you would be if someone cheated on you, talk to her about all the positive points of having a faithful relationship.
4. Make it easy for her to reply. After you compose your message, read it again and make sure it will be easy for her to reply to you. To do this, add several questions that will encourage her to write back.
The goal when you begin to communicate with a woman online is to create an attraction. You want her to like you, and you also want to like her.
One way to do this is to find something about her that you will interest you to hear about, or something that both of you will enjoy talking about. From there, you just keep exchanging thoughts with her while keeping things positive. Be sure to make it easy for her to "talk" to you, and you are on your way to making many friends on the Internet.
Posted by David Roy on: August 1, 2007 View comments (0) Add comments
Online dating etiquette for men
First, what is online dating etiquette? The dictionary definition of "etiquette" is "rules governing socially acceptable behavior." Based on this definition, online dating etiquette would be defined as "the rules governing socially acceptable behavior when communicating with members of dating websites."
It is really easy to be anonymous on a dating website. You are hidden behind a nickname, so no one really knows you. This makes it easy to behave however you please, without regard to etiquette. As a responsible person, however, you should try to make online dating a fun place to be by adopting good manners and conduct. Everyone will benefit from this behavior.
Here is some simple online dating etiquette for communicating with women.
1. Reply even when you are not interested. Should you reply to a woman if you are not interested? Unfortunately, people often just stay silent when they get a message from someone who does not interest them. They simply don't reply and ignore the message instead.
The right thing to do is to reply. Tell her politely that you do not think you're a good match and wish her good luck in her search. She will appreciate the reply, she will know you are not interested so she won't be wondering why you didn't reply, and she will be able to just move on.
2. Be careful when asking personal questions. Is it okay to ask personal questions when dating online? When you are first getting to know someone, you should avoid asking such personal questions as "Where do you work?" or "What is your last name?" or "What is your phone number?"
Wait a little before asking personal questions. There is no specific amount of message exchanges or days you should wait. It all depends on the interaction you have with her and how she feels about giving out personal information.
When starting to communicate with her, you should work on creating between the two of you a sense of trust and an attraction. If you ask for personal information too soon, she might get suspicious or turned off.
3. Be honest. Do not lie at any time when creating your profile or communicating with women on the Internet. Don't lie about your age, your body type, or anything else. In the end, it will just hurt you when she finds out about your lies and you end up having to justify them. That's a situation you don't want to get yourself into. Remember that no one likes to deal with liar.
4. Hold off on talking about sex. Wait before talking with her about sex unless she brings up the subject first. Don't use sex to try to attract her. You will just be wasting your time. Work at making a good connection with her first, by talking about things she likes or things you have in common.
5. Emailing twice only if you must. If you email a woman for the first time and she does not reply, you may want to wait at least a week before sending a second message. Women get overwhelmed by the amount of admirers' messages in their in-boxes. She might have deleted your message by mistake, she might not have paid attention to it, or she might not have been interested.
It is okay to email a second time just to make sure, but wait at least a week. You don't want to be pushy.
Online dating etiquette is about good manners and good behavior when communicating with other website members. Following good etiquette will make dating websites a better place to be, and everyone can win from it. |
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